One of the things I find most entertaining on this planet is when my imagination takes something literally and runs with it. Most of the time, it runs far, far away.
For over a week now, I have had this swirling around in my head. It’s been dancing around like fallen leaves in an autumn breeze. Popping in and out of my thoughts on a whim. Leaving me giggling for no apparent reason. Not the actual commercial itself, but where my imagination went after I watched it. Either way, it’s been a little weird.
**DISCLAIMER/WARNING: When I started making these pictures, I thought I had made up this site. I checked before posting this and -gasp!- it’s a real site. Of course it is. Needless to say, this is a fictional depiction of what went through my head when I thought about the commercial I saw. It may even be the commercial for that site. I don’t know. I only really caught the end of it. Any likeness portrayed here is purely coincidental because I’m too lazy to go back and mess with the pictures anymore. And I may have spent way too much time on this already.**
The content that follows is pretty stupid. I do not offer refunds for time wasted. Sorry. I just need to clear the mess out so I can tell you about the turkey.
Anyways, this is roughly what I keep picturing. And also why someone needs to invent the little picture thingy-ma-bob that I was talking about in my last post because this all looks WAY better in my head.
It starts out with a young gentleman looking for a “date” on the interwebs.
After some advice from his friends, he decides that he wants to find himself a “sugar mama” (don’t we all?), and stumbles upon this little gem:
While most of them are not the “Mama” he’s looking for, they’re willing to do unscrupulous things to a young man. RIGHT NOW. So he emails one.
And she writes back…
He’s very excited to meet Sarabi, of course, but is a little bit surprised when he arrives and is shown to his table on the patio. (It’s a fake name. She stole it from The Lion King because she loves that movie. And because someone’s daughter suggested we use that name.)
Trying to have a conversation on a first date would be awkward with anyone. But this would definitely make it that much more difficult.
After showing him 837 pictures of her (now fully grown) babies doing adorable things; She tells him that she took a picture of him and put it into an app on her phone that shows what their children might possibly look like.
Because that’s not creepy and something that a completely sane person would do on a first date, right? Not that I’ve ever done that…
Finally, after meeting at the restaurant, finding out that his cougar is an actual jungle cat, and being forced to look at too many “adorable” pictures, “John” decides it’s time to run. He decides that the ‘slip out the bathroom window’ routine is probably the easiest way to go.
Sarabi catches on, and decides that – instead of being offended or heartbroken, she’s going to chalk it up as a loss and just take her grand-kids their left-overs from the restaurant.
Never run from a cougar.
Sorry the end was so anti-climactic. All of these events take place in about a twenty second time span in my head. Fully illustrated insanity. If I were to add together all the time I’ve wasted in twenty second increments over the last week or so that I spent picturing this: It would amount to at least a full day.
Not including the time I spent making these ridiculous pictures. Which is why there aren’t any of her chasing him down and putting him in a to-go box.
I think I have a problem and may need a hobby. OR some medication…