Some of you may have read about how I got myself suckered into doing a 6th grade sciencey/creative writing/art project last week. Was it last week? I don’t know. I’m too lazy to go look right now. Either way, the post is here if you want to read it. (It totally wasn’t last week. It was the 5th. The link told me so. But I’m too lazy to change my words, so you have to eat them anyways. Sorry. I’m in a good mood right now, so they should be delicious.*)
I also said something in that post about ‘if you want to do the project too, and link it to my page or comments, blah, blah, blah, I was going to do a giveaway for anyone I can sucker into this with me. Details coming soon’ … Well, it wasn’t exactly “soon”, but I finally freaking did it.
Here’s the link to the page, but there’s also a tab called “Alien Project Funtimes/Judge Me!” under my goofy picture so you can find it without searching for this same stupid post again. So, if you want to play, and win some ad space and other random stuff, head on over there and check it out.
I already have a sneaking suspicion that I’m going to be that crazy old lady in the neighborhood.
You know the one.
Always in a mu-mu with scraggly hair and my teeth out so I’m always drooling on myself. Or worse – foaming at the mouth!
Everyone will suspect that I’m a witch. Nobody will trick-or-treat at my house for fear of being eaten or turned into a frog.
You’ll probably find me being followed around by umpteen hundred cats like the crazy cat lady on The Simpsons while I yell at the children to “Get off my damn lawn!” when they come within 100 yards of my property.
Yeah. That lady. Unless I live in a retirement home. Then I’ll just walk around naked.
Believe it or not – I’m fine with that. I actually hope to achieve that status someday. Like I said on someone’s blog yesterday about getting old; “I can’t wait. I plan to get a seeing eye monkey and sexually harass 20-something year old boys. It’s going to be expensive, but TOTALLY worth it.” And it will. I hope…
What scares me about it is the fact that I might not remember any of it. I already have trouble remembering to feed the children 3 times a day on the weekend! I don’t want to end up having one of my few lucid moments handcuffed to a bench next to Bertha being charged with sexual assault because I groped a bunch of teenagers in the mall again. Have you seen that show ‘Raising Hope’ yet? If not, you should. I’m pretty sure that I’m going to be a lot like the Grandma on that show.
Oh, Cloris Leachman, how I love thee…
It got me wondering if there’s such a thing as “selective senility” or not. I mean, my kids have “selective hearing” when I’m asking them to do chores, but in the middle of it, I can throw in a “Do you guys want some ice cream?” and they sure as hell hear that! So why can’t I be “selectively senile” when it suits my needs?
You know what? Fuck it. I’m trying it anyway. I’ll let you know how that turns out (if I remember).
I made a button.
It looks like this:
Actually, I didn’t make it. I stole the code from Three Monkeys and a Martini’s tutorial (that you can find here if you need/want to make one, but are as computer illiterate as me) which is why I can’t get the steal-it box to show up on this post. Whatever. It’s in my sidebar if you want to grab it and slap it on something fancy, like your bike, bumper, or blog. Hey! Three B’s! (ohmygod! Can you tell I’ve been practicing letters with my 3yr old?)
Anywho, that’s all I have for the moment. I have to go get started on my project. Yes, that’s right. I haven’t even named my alien yet, and I still have to help my daughter make her 3D alien thingy.. What can I say? I’m The Queen of Procrastination…
*I make no guarantees about the deliciousness (or safety) of my words. Eat them at your own risk.