I’ve had so many little things going on recently that I decided to do a messy cluster-fuck post about a bunch of random nothings and a couple of somethings. I hope the title sufficiently explained that and you’re not too disappointed in me today.
And if you are; Welcome! The line forms to the left. There might be some cold coffee left over there by the stale doughnuts.
(Hey – at least I put snacks out. Most people don’t do that for
the throngs of angry villagers that follow them around their adoring fans.)
As many of you may know, Washington state is not known for it’s tropical temperatures and warm sea breezes. It rains here. A lot. A whole fucking lot. In fact, it’s been raining here for days now. Today, however, was also windy.
Around 3:30, a transformer down the road decided that it was nap-time and the entire surrounding area lost power.
My. Kids. Freaked. It was hilarious.
They were so excited! They ran from room to room to check that the power wasn’t only working in one part of the house (no doubt so that they could suck up whatever scrap of light they could find). They also checked the faucets.
“We still have water in this one, mom!” … “The light in the fridge is off too!”
Thanks for the report guys. I never would have known had you not diligently checked everything for me…
Seeing as how it gets dark outside around 4:45 now, my son started wondering how we were going to see because “we might not have enough tiny flashlights for everyone.”, and, “What about the pets? Won’t they get scared?”, and of course, “How are we going to stay warm? We might have to go outside and chop down the shed to burn for wood!”
I foresee problems. A) Really? Chop down the shed to burn for wood. For wood? Not fire? Not heat? That’s kind of an odd way to phrase that. B) That would entail giving The Manchild an ax. Just no. C) The shed is old and crappy and soaked. D) Then where would I keep my gnome traps? The boy obviously doesn’t think things through. I still love him though…
Nerdy Dad mentioned that Winco sells wood and if worse came to worse, we’d go get some to put in the fireplace.
I went downstairs to get some of my (way too many) candles while my Step-mom looked around in the hallway cabinet. While I was mounting my dryer in the dark trying not to knock down everything in the cupboard, I heard my 3 year old upstairs yell excitedly, “I HAVE CANDLES!”, followed by ten seconds of silence and then counting. She is constantly playing with my stash of tea lights and Scentsy wax cubes. As thoughtful as she was to go get some candles for us, there was no way in hell that she was giving any of them up. She also “collects” my decorative stones and I fear she may be in the beginning stages of becoming a hoarder.
With all of the freaking out that the kids were doing when the power went out for 10 whole minutes, I came to the sad realization that if there ever really is a zombie apocalypse (or any other disaster or scenario you could imagine) and I plan to survive it – I’m going to have to leave my children behind.
Or get a family membership to a gun range.
I added a “RANDOM BUTTON” to my page. It’s somewhere over there —-> (it’s the one that says “random button”)
I’m going to update it radomly and link it to something random. Hence it being the “random button”. It might be funny, it might be inspirational, or it might be a complete waste of your time. I’ll try to stay away from things that you can’t unsee.
Also hanging out over to the side there is a button for Tuesday’s Tea Party. It’s a blog link-up hosted by the lovely Alice over at Adventure into Domesticland. You should go check out some of the fabulous blogs over there. If you tell them I sent you, they’ll probably try to shank you, so maybe don’t tell them that.
We have an insurance company out here called Vern Fonk Insurance. It’s one of those “diverse” places that will insure anyone. Literally.
Got caught drunk driving after you ran over a buffalo and a van full of nuns? Vern’s got you covered. Lost your license after you ran a bus full of orphans off a cliff because you were speeding and talking on the phone while snorting cocaine and masturbating? Vern’s your man! Can’t get a license in the first place because you’re a spy from Russia and you lost your fake I.D. but you need to insure your work truck so that you can still drive the guys to all the landscaping gigs so you don’t blow your cover? Call Vern!
I need to find a way to work on this guy’s marketing team. Most of the commercials have absolutely nothing to do with insurance and make no sense whatsoever. It’s pretty amazing and I want to drink his Kool-Aid. I’m posting a few of my favorites so that you can fully understand why I want to go to there.
Right?!? And this is shit they actually show on TV. To “advertise” his business.
I know, I know. What the fuck, right? Feel free to head to YouTube and explore some more of them. The pre-owned fish market one is pretty ridiculous too.
My 3yr old likes to hide/play/hang out underneath the computer desk in my room. I found this tonight when we were cleaning up “The Wrath of The Children”.
I know you can’t tell from the picture (you’re welcome), but that’s the little vibrator that sits in the back of my nightstand stuck into a piece of grey foam tubing that came from who knows where.
She usually tattles on herself when she gets into my things because she thinks it’s funny. It’s not, and this time she didn’t.
The worst part? The fucking battery is dead.
And because I couldn’t leave you on that note – here’s a little jingle to get stuck in your head from my good ol’ buddy, Vern.